


Not A Hero

by duchesskryze (i_want_rose_tyler_back)



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, Angst with no happy ending, F/M, and rose who is being the typical voice of reason, i have no idea how i feel about it, this got weaker as it went lmao, this is a really crappy angst attempt but have it anyways, you get a slightly dark! doctor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 12:12:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12887613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_want_rose_tyler_back/pseuds/duchesskryze
Summary: "Maybe I don't want to play hero anymore!"It's the doctor's choice, this planet, with all these ordinary people, or Rose Tyler.





	Not A Hero

“How long do we have?” Rose asks, and her voice is shaky. She is fighting back tears as the band around her chest tightens. They’ve faced daleks, the devil, cybermen, and here they are going to die because of a mining colony with a drill just about ready to blow.

If it didn’t completely blow the planet apart, thousands would still die, unless apparently they rerouted the power from the drill to the control room. Rose wasn’t entirely sure how it would work, The Doctor was rambling and hard to follow as usual, but she did understand one thing, the room would blow, with them in it.

The Doctor grunts and runs fingers through the disaster he calls his hair, trying and failing to scan with the sonic. She knows its bad when he doesn’t try to grin at her, he doesn’t say they’ll be fine, he simply says. “Not long.”

Rose tries to fight back the tears but one or two escape anyways. She thinks its pretty justified, seeing as they were about to die. He only spoke this way once before, on game station, when he knew there was no more hope. The only reason they survived was Bad Wolf, and she’s pretty sure she can’t do that again. They’re going to die.

The stuff of legends they are, and they can’t figure out a better way. Legends just about always die she supposes, its how they become legends.

Her mind wanders to her mother, Mickey, Shireen, all the places she’s seen, all that she’d done. She’d never see any of them again. Even so. “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world you know. Not back then, and not now.”

Something in him seems to snap at those too familiar words. His eyes go wide with a madness she hadn’t seen since he regenerated. He grabs her shoulders and shakes her, as though willing her to listen. “We can get out of here you know. The TARDIS, she isn’t too far away, we can make it. You and I, we can keep running and- and eating chips and Christmas dinners better with two, right?“

She holds his arms. “If we leave now, everyone dies. This thing overheats and everyone’s gone. Can you really live with that Doctor? You and I both know you couldn’t. You help, you don’t hurt.”

The mania calms slightly, only to be replaced with something Rose has never seen in the doctor’s eyes before. Tears. He pulls away from her and throws the first thing he can get in his hand, its some sort of futuristic wrench. She flinches when it hits the wall.

“Well maybe I don’t want to play hero anymore! All of these people I help, and for what?” He leans in closer to her, and she is rather proud of herself for not flinching away. “I can’t lose you. I won’t- I won’t be the reason Rose Tyler dies.”

His eyes are far less manic, but an all too familiar war is going on behind them. The same look she saw years ago (was it really that long? Hard to tell) the one he wore as he told her ‘I could save the world, but lose you.’ She doesn’t know how she feels about this man, who is so ready to raze planets all for her. It scares her for a brief moment, until she looks back into his eyes, sees the pleading there. He’s still him, he’s still The Doctor, her best friend no matter what, the love of her life.

She’s not too sure how she would react if their roles were reversed. Could she choose the lives of many over him? She doesn’t dare to dwell on the answer. Instead she holds her head high, and she feels faintly like the nineteen year old she once was, staring down the barrel of a gun asking him what the hell he was turning into.

“And neither of us can be the reason this world dies.” She takes his hand. “All of these people, all with their ordinary lives. Didn’t you once say those were sacred? Taxi at two A.M.?” She knows she’s winning when he doesn’t argue. She takes his face in her hands, and he closes his eyes, as though savouring her touch. “If you could promise them to save their lives, you can sure as hell save this planet. Whether they caused this problem or not.”

“You could go yourself you know, to the TARDIS. I could stay here and-“

“No. I made my choice, I’m never gonna leave you. Even if it means d- death.” He flinches at her words but nods slightly. The likelihood of making it back to the TARDIS was slim now anyway. The explosion was imminent. She placed a kiss on his cheek and pushed him back. “Now, what do we need to do?” Her voice still wavers slightly, but there is a determination in her eyes no one could argue with.

He flips back into determined doctor mode. “If you hold those wires over there- no the yellow one not the blue one- yeah thats it, and connect it with the red one while I hold these over here, well, that’ll do it. I hold these together and the heat gets ventilated to here and away from the core of the planet. Boom. Suppose its a nice way to go, better than burning, or drowning, oh or acid pool. ” He’s stalling, they both know it.

“Doctor.” She says simply, and he nods.

“Right, well, allonsy Rose Tyler!” He waits for her to connect her cables, and watches as she turns and begins to fade.

“Doctor!”

“I’m sorry Rose. Teleport. But if I have to play hero, then I suppose I’ve got to save the damsel in distress.” Rose growled but before she could say anything she was gone.

He continued rambling as he walked back to the wires. “Cause you were right Rose Tyler! I can’t live knowing I didn’t do this, but I can’t die with you either. Bit poetic I suppose, met you because of an explosion, my world, your job, now I’m leaving for the same reason.”

He touched the wires together.

Rose Tyler screamed.


End file.
